Big John's Blog

Funeral for Sugimura sensei today. It was some pure, unadulterated Japanese culture. I actually dont get that much japanese culture just sitting around my apartment or even going to shrines and stuff. This was one of those things where I could just observe people and take part in their customs. I bet Mom is somehow worried that I am a Buddhist now.

There was a big to-do about my lack of juzu. Juzu is like Buddhist funeral prayer beads. But like a trooper Yamamoto sensei came through and hooked me up with a pair. Its kind of like a braclet but bigger, but not as big as a necklace. You were them around your hands as you pray at specific times.

The service was held in what is remarkably similar to an American funeral home only it was more high tech. They had flat screen plasma TV's and they were running the service on closed circuit TV they used a high tech projector also. The crowd was so big that they had an overflow room where late folks had to watch on TV. He had a huge family. He had a least 100 family members there, if not more. As for his family his wife did a lot just to keep it together as suddenly as he died. He has three kids. One daughter who appears to be High School age, another daughter who looks to be in 4th or 5th grade and a son who is five. The two younger kids kind of looked like they didnt really know what was going on. The eldest was pretty broken up. The saddest part of the whole ceremony was the final procession where they brought the 'casket' out to the car and they had her holding this framed picture of her dad and she was bawling the whole way. Only a person without a soul wouldnt cry at that.

The service was really interesting. They had five priest there who did about a half an hour of chanting. No other music besides that. There were speeches by his brother, the principLE and the head of the student council. (??) Thought that was a little weird. Also interesting --they gave me a gift when I showed up, a couple of nice packs of green tea, but someone had to spend a lot of time wrapping these up. Someone stayed up late working on that one. They also had set up a place behind the priest (they were facing the casket the whole ceremony, which I found interesting, like they were really only concerned with the body) where everyone went with their juzu and prayed and sprinkled incense on these hot charcoals. The place was full of flowers of all different types and many fruit baskets and random bowls of oranges and apples on an alter like thing. It was really nice. There was a cameraman taking pictures of all the flowers, which I thought was a little weird. Even as the priests were doing their chanting. No one seemed to mind so I guess it was status quo. Dont know if they actually videotaped the ceremony other than the closed circuit deal.

The widow gave a tearful speech at the end before they left for the crematory. Didnt understand a word she said (big surprise there) but I gathered she was greatful for the large outpouring of support from everyone that was there. Id say at least 350 people. She did an amazing job of biting her lip and saying what she had to say and thanking everyone. Well, I understood that part.

No one really talked to me throughout the whole thing and I was fine by that. You can quickly pick up what is supposed to be done and I didnt want to take away from anything. But wanted to go and say Im sorry, bow, and show respect for the family. Dont think I messed up too bad. I think for a change people werent watching me like a hawk and not so concerned about my big white ass being in the way.

Highly interesting experience.

This morning, one of the teachers at the school passed away. Sugimura sensei. While he didnt speak any English he always greeted me, and absolutely everyone, with a huge smile. He had been sick for some time. He was out maybe the first three months that I got here. I hadnt seen him for the last month or so. Obviously he had been very sick all along, but again always beeming with a bright smile. Maybe he knew how precious every minute was.

Came back to the teachers room with a lot of people crying and didnt know what the heck happened. Being my grim self I thought it was one of the students. Its a strange thing to think that I was more likely to hear of a student dying than I was a teacher while I was in New Orleans. That is truly sad. But, if it ever happens to you, you will be forever paranoid about it. I speak from experience.

We did lose two teachers last year at ABE. One was a older gentleman, Mr. Wykle, who was my mentor my first year of teaching. He bored his students to tears sometimes but he really cared about them and didnt let them fuck around in class. When he knew that someone hated him he would always chase them around the hall asking for hugs and stuff like that. Classic. I stole that bit immediately. That first year in NO was rough and I did a ton of drinking (during the week and lets not even talk about the weekends) and I cant even count the number of times he would see me in the morning and say, "Burnin' the candle at both ends, eh?" My only regret was when he went out and he was sick, I had been planning to call him. Even saw his wife at Cooter Browns, back in the bouncer days. Anyway, I had made a list of things to do and what days to do them. Friday included the bullet "Call Mr. Wykle" and I didnt. Thought I would call him later the next week. When I got to school on Monday we found out that he had died on Saturday. Well hell. Needless to say I was disgusted with myself. This shows the gap between what an adult does and what a scared kid does. Gotta get my act together.

The other was only 26 years old. Ms. Macklin. She actually died during class. As if the students didnt have enough stupid, ramdom stuff happen to them that they didnt have to witness that. She was engaged to one of the other teachers at the school and had a little daughter. I remember seeing her in the hallway that morning and saying good morning and the like. 26 years old. I think she had an embalizism in her brain or something. I guess the how is not all that important. She had a beautiful ceremony though. Lots of people singing her praises and celebrating her life. It was hard but the pastor really tried to set that tone. We are here to celebrate a life rather than mourn a death. Crying is OK but rejoicing is certainly an option.

What is important is that if you got someone you love who you have been neglecting, get off your ass (Im including myself here). I have not been the best son, brother,sister, grandson, friend ever and I have got to take nothing for granted because I KNOW, this whole trip is fleeting, man. It will be over before we know it and people die. Its what they do. This is a truth that I think we hide from all too much. And you should think about how you would want people to feel and what you would want them to do after you shuffle off this world. You want them to celebrate your life, right? I know I do.

I guess we just need to think about that whenever we see our loved ones, or anyone for that matter, how do you want to leave it? What is the last thing that you would ever want to say to someone if you never can see them again? Remember that for you next fight with your parents over something trite. Remember to tell everyone that you love them, it might freak them out at first, but its well worth it. They'll get used to it.

Heres to those who give their lives to make others better.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why is the song, The Right Stuff, by New Kids on the Block stuck in my head? I havent heard that damn song since my incredibly lovely sisters, Mary and Debbie* used to play that stupid shit non-stop back in the day! But here we are, 2005, and . . . Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh-o. Oh, Oh e-o. Oh Oh Oh -o. THE RIGHT STUFF. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. Vote Quimby

*Not that Sarah isn't. She just didnt torture me with this NKOTB 'hit'. Not that she didnt toture me with her own brand of 'state' sponsored terrorism.

Someone once said that one is the loneliest number. I disagree.

I have no classes today. So, in an attempt to fill up time before Our (Miyagawa sensei and myself) clandestine 1130 sushi lunch today, I will write a blog entry. I promised Paul that I would study some Japanese. Well we'll see if that one goes off.

Had a pretty uneventful weekend. Hung out with Paul at some Hikone bars on Saturday. We actually found a place that stays open late and plays hip hop but where almost everyone pretty much refuses to dance. Which is fine by me. I dont want to have to embarrass anyone with my incredible skills. Arica told me once that I dance like and old man. She will never understand the Best Buy dance*. Nor would I ever expect her to.

Have you ever noticed this?-- People who love to dance are always trying to get other people who dont want to dance to dance. Which is fine, I guess, if they would stop laughing when the person whom they are trying to get to dance gets out there and starts dancing. I never understood that. I just think people experience music in different ways. Not everyone want to jump up and shake their booties all the damn time. Im also a little bit less willing to dance when Im not a lest a little buzzed. Which I wasnt, after the Kyoto fiasco last weekend. But I digress.

We also went to Darts Bar which had one dart board and a few people there who were pretty nice. The bartender walks you out and shows you to your transportation for Christ sakes. It does seem we are now finding some of what one might call 'Hip Hop' Culture in old Hikone. People in baggy valure jumpsuits, wearing bandanas, hats splayed at various angles and shit like that. Interesting. I need to get some photos of these people. I wonder if they know what the hell they are doing. Hikone, anywhere in Hikone, is not exactly what I think of when I think of the streets. But maybe thats my American view. But maybe thats acceptable seeing as its American culture that they are emulating.

Anyway...

I will be 'hitting up' Osaka next weekend. The OSAKA GRAND SUMO TOURNAMENT. Should be the shit. Dont know if I already posted this but, I LOVE screaming. Something so viceral and soul cleansing about it. Japan has not offered me many opportunities to scream my head off, which is a shame. Well, there was the G Love concert and that one time at the bowling alley**. There is also the 'loud American' alert going off in the back of my head at all times. Why do I try to downplay that myth when I am a loud American? Does that make me bad? Uncouth, certainly, but Im not trying to maintain that I am not.

Missing Mardi Gras this year left a big hole in a place where I used to be able to scream out all my frustrations. The sumo tournament will be a perfect time for me to get that out. For some reason*** I expect the arena to be very quiet. Like those days Jeff and I used to cut 7th and 8th period at Cass and go see those Tigers day games at Tigers Stadium in April. Hell, it was right across the freeway from school. I even think we got Jeff's dad to take us one of those times. Dont know how he pulled that one off. Like those games, that were so unattended, you could hear the pitcher scratching his ass and the slap of a flopping johnson against pale thigh as drunk, naked streakers charge the field, this is how I imagine the noise level at sumo.

Anyway, I plan of being the loudest person in the whole arena. Keep that proud tradition alive.

* Perfected by Fernando and myself at the Kenner, LA Best Buy right off I-10
** That was by request and it WAS Mardi Gras
***Who can guess what that is?

Here are the oft promised graduation pics.

The kid in the white suit is one of the 'bad' kids at our school. Yeah right. Anyway, he is wearing Hammer pants. I guess thats bad boy fashion. Saw some other kid at the mall wearing the same outfit.

Tanigake-kun-- this kid made the best cartoon about Godzilla crushing George Bush with Bush spouting all this anti-terrorist propaganda.

Sato one of my speech students.

Kobayashi-kun and me soaking up the majesty

Kawamura sensei and a bunch. Also include Okata-kun one of my speech contest students.

You rock Nana Kumi!

Got a bunch of cards from the classes of graduating students. Here are a couple. Remember the students came up with these on their own. No help from teachers.

This one has two great lines in it. "You look like a shining star in the sky!" and " Your love for us is deep." Cracks me up.

Say whatever you want about me not teaching the students anything this year but at least they have appropriately propagandized by the University of Michigan

The weather is awesome today except for the half and hour that I had to ride my bike to school. It rained hard as hell for about 5 minutes and got to school and was soaked. The teachers are so predictable. As soon as I show up someone asks me, seeing that I am drenched, if I rode my bike to school. I say yes and then everyone has a good laugh. Dicks.

I forgot but we have a three day weekend this weekend. Highly good! Another no name (as far as I can tell) holiday! I'll take it.

Had this crazy dream the other night. Dont remember that many details but I remember being extremely tired in the dream. Told people I was going to lay down and take a nap. I actually took a nap in my dream! Which was cool because as soon as I fell asleep I started to dream. What level of consciousness are you on when you are dream dreaming, I will never know. The dream was very short but it was a picture of some scene out of a western landscape or something. Desert and mountains and stuff. Quickly my whole field of vison collapsed into this cylinder that was pitch black with a thin white ring on the outside. On the inside surface of the cylinder was some sort of code, numbers and letters flying towards me. It was moving at such a fast rate that I had no chance of actually understanding it or to even know if it was a code. But I remember how I felt. It was like I had let go of everything. I woke up from the dream inside a dream after only a few seconds. When I get a feeling like that I can never hold onto it because of all this thinking that my brain does. Cant turn that shit off, need to meditate or something.

On another slightly related topic. I have done many embarrasing things in my life. Hundreds. Many I cant even remember, but I'm sure my friends and family do. I'm not really talking about stupid things like tripping in front of people or falling down an escaltor, but things that I have said to people that were just crazy or certain things pertaining to the opposite sex. During the day I can easily not pay attention to these things with my usual unobservent self. But at night when I cant sleep I just sit in bed and relive all these moments that embarrass the hell out of me. I wonder why. Only happens when I cant sleep which is rare but happens more and more now adays as I take naps when I get home. I then force myself to go to bed at a decent hour and can't sleep. I don't know why I think about these things but it always comes back to that topic for some reason. Whats also interesting is that whenever I think of a really embarrassing moment, I just blurt out some nonsensical phrase. Its really weird. I cant remember how long this has been going on. Since I got to Japan? Before? I can't recall. Most nights I hit the pillow and pass out. There aint no time or energy to reflect on stuff. Am I losing my mind, random night after night? Who knows, just though I'd to share. Questions, comments, concerns?

Anyway, will get the software for my camera today and hopefully post those pics tomorrow.

strangely yours,
Big

Graduation today. It was interesting. Got asked by several people how it was different from America. The biggest difference I could come up with is that they tell jokes at American graduation ceremonies. Which was a poorly worded observation because apparently Kocho Sensei (principle) told a 'joke' in his speech. Hey, no one laughed so how in the hell would I know if he told a joke or not? My comment met the same fate as his joke.

One teacher at my school made a good point. She thought that the ceremony itself was like a church service, a catholic church service to be exact. Sadly, she knew more about that than me, having spent 10 months teaching at a catholic school in St. Louis. It was kind of like church. Pretty quiet. Stand up, sing, sit down, stand up and bow, sit down, stand up and sing, bow, bow, bow. The students did a few good renditions and I was able to sing the first verse of the school song, Tag sensei hooked me up with the romanji so I could participate. Thanks!

After the big ceremony they meet in all the home rooms with all the parents, give out awards, sing more songs, cry and shit. Real heart warming stuff. Afterwards took about a million pics with the students. I only got about thirty for myself (to be posted after I steal the needed software for my new computer) but I had my picture taken at about the rate of five to one. 45 straight minutes of picture taking does some damage to the old retinas.

It was nice to see the students in a good mood and not moaping about shit like they always do. The only good thing about this (Japan vs. America) is that I cant understand the complaining whereas in America I can understand all too well. I have the same response though, I just make fun of the way they complain. Yeah, yeah, life is sooooo hard. Babies. . . but I love 'em.

The comments are fixed! Post away!

White Day in Japan today. Its like the dark side of Japanese Valentines Day. On White Day guys are supposed to give gifts to girls. Saw some gifts going around the teachers room today. Guess someone is putting some moves on...Ooooohhh! Not me at any rate. Cant think of anything more suicidal than dating someone from work or someone you live with. Any testimonials?

Anyway, had a really embarassing drinking experience with Lawrence in Kyoto this weekend. All I have to say is that the bouncers at the bar we were at, the aforementioned Bar Isn't It? (the question mark was emphasized), were pretty pissed at me. Some angry rotarian shoved me and I thought, "Whats going on here?" --No, not really but I made a mess but rallied to eat some Yoshinoya style rice dish and fall asleep on the first train home. Got fixated on telling Lawrence that we had missed the stop and had to go back '15 to 25 stops' which he dutifully ignored even as we drunkenly staggered into my aparto. Got back at 715. I proceeded to sleep until 5pm. Lawrence left at some point, not having made proper plans to meet his parents and no power left in his keitai. Dont know if he made it out of Hikone or survived the intense tounge lashing from his parents because I passed out after he left at around 1.

Went Bowling in Kyoto at some point. Lawrence, claiming hes got no bowling skills because, in his words, "English people dont bowl," bowled a fucking 155 while I managed to bowl the ball off the lane and down this little corridor. Needless to say, I scored in the fifties. Lawrence was also seen attempting some sort of backflip which turned into a half-gainer into the ball return. Pretty amusing night all around.

Woke up at five, screwed around for about two hours. Ate some fried oysters, octopus balls and fried chicken and felt a little better. That thing about grease curing hangovers is pretty true.

Or maybe hangovers are just grease withdrawl.

Went to bed at 7. Woke up at 2am not being able to sleep anymore. So I talked to some peeps. It was Bailey's BDay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! and chatted with Rob and Dre. It was weird getting up that early, I took a bath for some reason. Probably trying to sweat out all the toxins built up from the oysters and debauchery of the weekend. Feel better today. It will be interesting to see what time I fall asleep at my desk today considering I have no classes due to graduation practice ALL DAY TODAY. Ahhhh, leave it to the Japanese to practice the shit and fun out of something. Will dress up tomorrow and post some pics from graduation.

PEACE!

A sweet, sweet 10 degrees celcius this morning on my way to work. Hallelujah! Never thought I might get so stoaked about 50 farenheit but hey, my apartment is almost a suitable temperture. The only drawback to that is I will actually have to start putting away groceries in a timely fashion. Because it was so cold over on Yazawa Haitsu I could leave the milk out, not put the eggs away for a couple of days, etc. because the fridge was probably a few degrees warmer than the aparto as a whole. So, in that respect, I guess Im sad about the warm weather. Its a double edged sword.

Should be meeting unsuitable boy in Kyoto this weekend. Hope to meet his parents and hang with them for a little while. His 'mum' hooked us up with some free accomodations while we were in Thailand. What a great woman! Hoping to relive some of our Thailand glory. That is-- me watching unsuit b sleep until all hours of the afternoon and just walking around in some kind of alcohol fueled haze. Sugoi!

Hangovers-- once just someone elses problem, has become a new staple of my life. I remember the days that I could stay up all night drinking, wake up at 6 or 7 am, stumble once and be daisy fresh. Those days are gone. Rob tells me its cause Im getting old. Aint that the damn truth. Well forget him, he cant even walk into a bar yet, what the hell is he going to tell me about drinking? At least I got drunk last night. Which beats the hell out of those times that I have maybe two drinks and wake up with a headache. But I digress. Had to put on the shades this morning as it was really bright on my trip to school. Looks like its gonna rain for my trip home. Awesome.

Anyway, was copping a squat (this term is so much more appropriate with the non western toilets) this morning at school and this hangover thing was obviously not ready to cooperate, so I fell over, pants around my ankles, making a loud crashing sound and of course there was someone else in the bathroom. They made that famous Japanese sound under their breath (Ehhhhhhhhh!?!?!) but much to my joy didnt try to bust into the stall and see if I was alright. Maybe my laughing was a good indicator that all was A OK. Im sure they are talking about it in the staff room right now.

I can usually tell when they are talking about me it goes something like, " Mumble mumble John sensei mumble mumble." Which I really dont mind at all. There is something soothing about not knowing what they are talking about. I dont think this is a universally held belief though. Its a two way street. If I ever get pissed all I have to do is start cursing at a fast pace and not a soul will understand me. I feel safety in that. Havent had to pull that one out yet but just wait till I have a bad day or something. At least they call me by my name here. Some JET people are just called ALT. Which is not that bad unless that becomes your name even when they are talking to you. "Children please repeat after ALT," "ALT, will you make a worksheet for this lesson," or " ALT looks angry, should we have an intervention?" That kind of sucks. But its the kind of acceptable sucking that occurs here. If this is at the top of your complaint list you're living large.

Now it's a batttle for my favorite Japanese person

Miyagawa sensei is making a run for the title today. We show up at work at about the same time today and he is carrying this bag. He commences to tell me that the ONLY WAY I can get better is to drink o-sake. He hands me this huge bottle of sake. The same size bottle that Doug and I tried to drink in an hour before we got on the train for Kyoto. We paid the price the next day but we had a damn fine time. By the way, we couldnt finish it. It might take me a little longer to do that same damage myself but maybe I will give Paul a birthday swig or something and maybe TR would be interested.

And the number 1 reason why I will never be a wealthy man

I just cant focus on important issues. So, Im reading the news today at work. Hey, what else am I gonna do? Im being a good boy and reading about how Alan Greenspan is telling Congress to fix social security because blah, blah, blah and then I see it. In the middle of reading this three page article my attention is immediately diverted to one of the 'most sent story' headlines at the bottom of the page. Come to think of it, I never did finish that Greenspan piece.

Im also sick (not that kind of sick) I am been feeling weird all week. Need some rest and relaxation. Took Tuesday off work. Didnt really make me feel any better but two days of bowling and drinking. . . didnt do shit either. I did bowl a 126 and a 139 on consecutive nights. Dont know if its helping my game but Im damned proud none the less.

My supervisor from the Board of Education stopped by the other night to fix my stove and he brought me what he termed 'hot medicine and cold medicine'. The hot medicine was some kind of warm vitamin C calpis or something. The cold medicine was two beers. Awesome. You rock Isozaki sensei!

Dude, it's March already!