Big John's Blog

That was good but this time with more . . . intensity.

Use me, ehhh?

Just rented Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas last week wednesday. Maybe its a testiment to my extreme boredom but I have watched it four or five times since then. Beer, Fern and I used to had this horrible copy that 'someone' had taped over old porn--Maybe, "Where the boys aren't part 12" or something like that. The picture was bad and the sound was worse but it somehow adding something to the movie. You really had to work to hear those garbled ramblings.

Well, unfortuanely Hunter S. Thompson took his own life yesterday -- funny because he always struck me as someone who enjoyed life, or who at least enjoyed life on drugs. Not that I knew the man or anything. I read a few of his books and I saw a couple movies that were made about him. Not that that may even be an acurate portrayal of him but interesting none the less. I liked how he basically flew in the face of convention at every turn.

So, here is my literary tribute to him, it may be my first, but certainly not my last . . .

blue blockers and bats
gonzo, i presume
men, red woolen shirts

"Clearly, I was a victim of the drug explosion" --HST

CONGRATS to AP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's getting married in September. I am so excited. I will be in my second wedding. The first one being such a great time and the origin of the nickname tunachin (thanks t-y). It will also be my first time back to the states since I got to Japan. AP is my friend who I have been in constant contact with the longest. I remember the first day he walked into Mrs. Bibles first grade class with that wild fro, lo those TWENTY FREAKING YEARS AGO. Holy Crap.

In other religious news--

Will be taking a side trip before that. I will have to take about three weeks off. First, I must complete my pilgrimage. It has been years in the 'planning' stage but I will finally get to the homeland, Amsterdam. I only need about three or four days, or rather I will only be able to visit with 'God' for so long while maintaining some sense of decorum. Then I will wheel my way to New Orleans. Hopefully there will still be some friendly faces there but I would like to go back to Abe and see some old students and talk to old friends. I miss that dump. Then off to Detroit for all the wedding festivities and stuff and family and friends. Highly good!

Currently reading... Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. Now I know that people love Sedaris and think he is all hilarious and shit. I guess is he kind of funny but after reading all the quotes on and in the book about how it is the funniest thing ever written, I dont know. Ive got buddies who can write stuff thats at least as funny. And doesnt he know that we live in the age of the double dash-- Didnt he get the memo? Maybe its an old book, probably should have checked before I start 'publishing' things on the internet.

I do rather enjoy his old fart tendencies, like how he hates computers because they killed the typewriter, or rather how it makes people try to force him to stop using his typewriter. Apparently it makes too much noise for some of his neighbors. I also dig how he talks about food and how the new cuisine that is served in restuarants-- has so many ingredients that you cant recognize it by sight anymore. Thought that was pretty funny. " If food were art, it would be in its Dada phase." Pretty clever.

It makes me think of Grandpa Simpson always bitching about one thing or another. I also had friends in college who thought that I was a complaining old man, always going on rants about how they dont show muppet babbies on TV anymore or those big ass kids who still ride around in strollers-- lazy fuckers. I believe at one point I earned the title 'Youngest Curmudeon Ever'. A title that will soon, I'm sure, be taken over by my brother, who, as the apple doent fall far from the tree-- will just go off about anything stupid that he sees or on any cable company that tries to steal from him or his frat buddies.

--

Went to Kyoto this weekend with my buddy Paul. It was one of his friends birthday or something. I had never met these people but they were pretty cool. He knows a lot of Japanese who speak good English. There was this highly drunk girl from Nova Scotia there. Got so wasted at A Bar (a pretty cool bar, I will have to go back) that she left there without her shoes and purse. I didnt realize until we got to the next place that this chick had no fucking shoes on in the middle of the winter. Her socks and pants were soaked, hopefully she still has use of all her toes. Bought her a 500 yen little ass bottle of water which she commenced to purposly pour all over me, I guess because I was trying to help. Oh well. I happens to the best of us. I have had a few moments of complete embarassment involving alcohol and my friends always took care of me no matter what I said or did. Like that time I shit on myself during high school. I guess that one is out of the bag.

We then went to "Bar Isn't It?" and when I got inside the named seemed slightly more pertinent than when I first walked upon the place. It was really a club, it was 1000 yen and a drink so I could live with that but I had maybe the worst DJ in the history of any club. I mean this is a Club, isn't it? If you are going to operate a meat market the least you can do is play some booty music. This jackass played 3 U2's songs! Worst ever. Paul seemed to like the atmosphere because in his words, "There are sooooo many hookers here!" He was right but the music still sucked. I will also give Bar Isn't it? a nod for worst ventilation system in all of Japan. Though it was about 30 degrees outside, it managed to be about 85 degrees inside, smoky as hell (I smelled like some seriously old bong water when I got out of there) and the humidity was at aprox 145%. If the pressure in there would have been higher it would have been raining. But we stayed there for four hours for some reason. Time flies when you can find so many things wrong with a place. As previously stated Paul's friends were cool and I had some good conversations --we also got to make fun of the drunk girl so that was a bonus, well it passes the time anyway.

One of Dougs

I have often searched my soul for what the Buddha can teach me. It has been a tortuous (why have I been using that word so much lately?) journey but I have found it. The Buddha KNOWS how to chill out. Whenever you see him he is laying down or chillin or -Gasp- sleeping. Thats why his eyes are always closed, right? I will follow suit shortly. Thanks Big Guy!

More Thailand Pics

This is just to prove that I was actually in Thailand with Doug (aka father of beenie man) and Lawrence (aka some guy from England) at a Khmer Temple. This city used to be the capital of Thailand way back in the day. Had lots of old stuff. Dont know who those other folks are messing up our picture. Does anyone have any idea how in the hell they managed to make these big ass stone structures with all this elaborate stone work all those hundreds of years ago?

Talked to one of my New Orleans students over the weekend for about an hour. We were reminiscing about all the stuff that happened last year. We talked about students, teachers, friends and family. It was awesome. I did notice one thing though. We would conclude talking about each person with, "That boy/girl/man/woman is cra-zy!" And I started to think about it. I agreed with that statement every time it was made.

That kid who used to sit in his chair and talk to himself all day, everyday ... crazy!

The teacher that is always man handling the kids ... crazy!

The teacher that chases the kids around in her motorized cart ... crazy!

That student who choked that girl over a pencil ... crazy!

That basketball player that got into a fight with a fan ... during the game... crazy!

That man that used to wear those duck taped clippers ... definitely crazy!

In case you dont know, that last reference was to yours truly. That place made me crazy. Maybe you couldnt always see it on my face or in my actions but I was always about two steps from completely losing it. I would also constantly be surprised by my lack of surprise over crazy stuff happening. You would hear something outrageous and you would just shrug and say, "Yep, I told you that girl/woman/man/boy is crazy."

As you can see everyone there was certifiable. Some showed up that way, the rest werent crazy until they got there and hung out with the inmates for a little while. Its a wonder kids learn anything there. It's also a wonder after having been an inmate myself for three years that I had even one hair left on my head.

Crazy!

But I miss it like no tomorrow... Highly crazy!

Here I am at Hikone Eki in all my Mardi Gras Glory!

Ahhhh, a Thai massage. No wait. . . Owwww Fuck, a Thai massage! These things kill! It only feels great afterward because they have finally stopped pulling and cranking on your body. Most of these last an hour. Thats messed up, man! Brought a whole new flavor to the phrase, "It hurts so good."

Happy Mardi Gras!

As I type there is still about 20 minutes left in Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Im sure that many of those partied out revelers are welcoming an end. Then again some of them are still going. I had myself a little Mardi Gras fun last night as well. My buddy emailed me a picture and whenever I can get where I can access hotmail, I will post.

We had a block meeting at our usual spot, Viva City bowling alley. I showed up, dressed in Mardi Gras attire and the folks were just staring. I guess they dont see a man in a skirt often. Doug would be please to know that I was putting the highly cood flag to good use. Also to get in the 'right frame of mind' Paul and I split a half pint of Jack Daniels that I had lined up to give to Kocho (not to be confused with Kancho) sensei, oh well. After we got to Viva City Paul bought a fifth of Black Nikka and it was on. I dont think the group was going to be doing much drinking this night but somehow chugging out of a bottle of whiskey inspires people. We finished that whole bottle. Yuck!

Anway, we got drunk, nipples were shown ( but wouldnt you know it, all guys) beads were thrown. All that good stuff. It was pretty tame by Mardi Gras standards but when I let out my patented Yeah, Woooo the bowling alley staff near shit themselves. It was a far far far cry from New Orleans but I tried at least the bring the spirit of Mardi Gras to Japan. Next year I have got to plan a cool lesson around this thing. It just kind of snuck up on me this year. The school definitely has to have a second line. Wish I knew something about music. But the band can learn When the Saint Go Marching in or something. Got something to look forward to unless I buy a ticket a go there next year. We shall see.

10 minutes left, have you hooked up with a complete stranger yet?

In an attempt to give a accurate depiction of what happened while we were in Thailand, I present this one. Lawrence really wow-ed me on several fronts (many of which not to be mentioned in this place) during the trip but his ability to nap really took me back to my College days. He has only been out of University for a few months so he has not forgotten how to sleep properly, meaning he knows how to go through the day have slept more than he was awake. I myself, have too much paranoia in the mornings to sleep that long anymore unless I really tie one on the night before. Like I like to say - paranoia is the best alarm clock. It is pretty hard to shut if off though and where is it when you really need it? Certainly didnt help me catch my plane back to Osaka, did it now?

The first day that we showed up to Shambala Bungalows (theres my plug, I loved the place) there were these little kids playing on the beach naked. Though that is not the Thai style, a lot of thai adults wear jeans to the beach, they think it is respectful, I guess little kids get a free pass. So cute!

From the beach in front of Big Fish Bungalows. The year, 1972.

It really messes with your mind seeing things like this day after day. Not the kind of sights you see in Detroit and New Orleans on a regular basis. I started to feel bad at some point being a tourist and tearing this beautiful place up. Though I tried to minimize damage, I could help but breathe their air and use their facilities. Not to mention drink all their Thai Whiskey!

Just chillin, lettin my bunions breathe

I didnt want to give anyone the impression that I was walking around actually doing things while I was in Thailand. Here is a pic from my favorite bar on Koh Tao. It was right across the street from my Bungalow -- The Rock Bar. This place had two employees a young hipster and an older lady who ran the show. Cool as hell. Great music, that I had never heard before, awesome drinks (the kind where you have to wait five minutes to get the drink because they are behind the bar putting love into it.), hammocks, TV (I think I was watching Rambo II this days), and an 'interesting menu' we will say.

For some reason we only stayed on Koh Tao for two days. Small place, maybe 4000 people, fair number of tourists but it was peak season and the Tsunami had sent many people that way. But it was my favorite place in Thailand. I have to go back, the people at the Rock Bar made me promise.

By the way, I stole the idea of this pic from Jon Bertsch and the house boat. Damn good time as well buddy. But seriously I have never been so relaxed in my whole life!

This pic is stolen from Doug. It was taken in Lopburi, this little town, about two hours north of Bangkok. Whats interesting about this city -- and once we read this in Lonely Planet, it somehow became a level 1 priority in our 'travel plans' (which also included a six am flight on New Years Day, dammit Doug!)-- was that there were at least a thousand monkeys running around this town. Not in a zoo, where any self respecting monkey who lives in a city would reside, but on the streets. They were everywhere. Running along the powerlines, tussling on the grass, penetrating one another, you know, monkey business.

We didnt see this but apparently there are two groups of monkeys. The temple and the city variety. They are separated by the train tracks. Once any of the monkeys from one group crosses the tracks they get their asses kicked by the monkeys on the other side. Apart from that being one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard, it points out how humans are OBVIOUSLY monkeys.

Another side note, taking the thrid class train to these places was awesome. First, it cost 24 Baht (60 cents) for the two and a half hour journey. Which tells you one more thing, at some point in my life some adult (maybe Tim Sparling) told me that you get what you pay for. Now it couldnt have been the first time that I heard someone say this but it really hit home by whatever he was making refence to. I was working for him at the time, so he may have been refering to my labor-- We didnt exactly have seats per se. We stood the whole way, which I didnt mind but Doug and Lawrence bitched about it a little being the whiney Americans they are.

There were some negatives to the standing up thing.

1. We were standing up for two and a half hours.
2. We were stanging up in very close proximity to basically everyone else on the damn train.
3. There were vendors on the train selling, I dont know how to put this, God knows what. There were probably five or six different vendors on the whole train and they walked the length of the train back and forth the entire trip, holding these huge fucking coolers. If I hadnt said it before, there was absolutely no room on this train.
4. One the way back to Autthaya we managed to be able to stand next to this random tray of fish. Thank God for all the Mentos that Lawrence had stuffed into his pockets, made the fish smell go down easier.

However there were positives the most notable being we got to be amongts 'real' Thail people. That is, theu were not trying to hustle money out of us in any way, shape or form. They were just regular people being themselves. That is, actual Thai culture. What do Thai people do when they sit on a train? You just have to go and find out. Also, there were some cute ass little kids and I got to stare at them for a long time.

END

If you want to check out Doug's Thailand pics.

Ummm, greatest sunset ever. This was taken at a little roadside bar near the Big Buddha statue. This bar had great drink and was owned by a guy named Gob. Really cool. Asked us to come to a small birthday gathering for some British Guy we didnt know. Sort of reluctantly showed up and the people were really cool. Gave us all the food we could eat, and it was amazing. The biggest/best spring rolls I have ever seen, those ribs that I love from Sala Thai (Jeff, Dre and Rob you know what Im talkin bout!) in Detroit and some awesome potato salad. Open bar as well.

Anyway, Gob and his friend sitting at the bar (cant remember his name but he was a guitar player -- somehow a guitar showed up and Doug and this guy jammed a little bit) asked us if we like Jimi Hendrix. Strange question, I thought, I love Jimi so they put on the Jimi at Woodstock DVD and we watched and drank G and T's, basked in the warm Thai breeze and stared at this amazing scene. Not to mention the mystery plastic grocery bag that Gob gave us for the road.

This is most certainly the definition of Cood, if you were wondering.

Well, Monday again. There you have it.

Here come the Thailand pics!

Still Snowing

One of my Japanese teachers has informed me that all of this recent snow has something to do with me. Also this has been an out of control year for typhoons as well as volcano activity not to mention the biggest earthquake in Hikone in the last 10 years or so. Damn. Maybe shifting my weight to the other side of the world has throw the earth off axis or something. That is what Kriesman would say. Another teacher chimned in after that acusing me of being responsible for the tsunami also. All things are possible, I guess. Im just a magnet for natural disasters.

Didnt experience too much in New Orleans a little flooding after a few mini huricanes. No big damage and I slept through most of them.

In other news, I studied Japanese today. . . Baby steps people.

Stupid JET's

I cant tell you how many hints and 'helpful information' was given to me by previous jet before I got to Japan. It turned out that about 90 percent of that shit was just wrong.

Point 1 (and the only one I care to comment on):

"It doesnt really snow in Hikone and when it does it doesnt stick to the ground." Well Ill be damned because there is about a foot of snow on the ground right now and it hit a hight of about -3 today. Im not complaining because it is probably colder in Detroit now but I also wasnt riding my bike 6 miles a day in Detroit either. Im going to my old school.

Doug has been talking about how he has only seen snow fall on a handful of occasions and that he has caught himself at the window just bewildered by snow, he thinks its cool. OK, just wait till that little ass car ends up in a ditch. Then Im sure he will still be talking about how 'peaceful' the snow is then when he is pounding the stearing wheel and swearing at the top of his lungs.

Here we go again

In typical fashion I have made another somewhat large life decision with relatively little thought. Thats right, I am sticking around Japan for another year. Signed my paperwork yesterday. First, my job is alright, not the most stimulating position ever created but I like it none the less.

I figure I will be getting out of here after this next year coming up. That means, for all you who have been eagerly awaiting my return to the states, I will be home at the beginning of August 2006. That is just a short 18 months from now.

The term 'home' has lost a lot of meaning considering I have moved "my home" five times now since I went to college. I know that it has been eight years but I had never moved before I went to college, so the idea of 'home' was firmly in the grasp of 215 E. Grand Blvd. #22. However, I have come to realize how impermanent surroundings are after having lived in what I will term slightly diverse places. But I digress.

Anyway, for those of you who are in charge of helping me pick my next whim you need to get to work. Grad school (public policy?????) I need to take the GRE this summer. I can take it in Osaka so that is a bonus. That means I need to study something! I need to get on it and I need people to badger me into doing so. Im not one of these self motivated people like those that I know that go to law school and medical school and shit. I also need help in figuring out what the hell I am supposed to go. I have been thinking more and more about Michigan. I know that I swore off the old U and said many times that I would never give them another cent of my money (other than the money that I already will be giving them for the next 24.5 years) but how often do I say something and am immediately proven wrong? Thats right-- all the damn time.

It would be nice to live in the same town as Rob and we can live it up as adults for the first time without that constant fear of sister retrobution (thanks SET). Although, I dont know how they managed to guilt me as much as they did, doing as little guilting as they did. Alas, they learned from the Master. Still love ya Mom! Technically, as he would be a senior and I an old man, he would be corrupting me. Hell, not even technically.

I would also love to be able to rollover on certain Saturday mornings, take a few swigs of the old wiskey and head on down to the Big House and curse out some Statie or Buckeye fan. Not to mention be able to do that with Rob who makes me so proud at games with his witty banter and jaw dropping expletives.

I dont know. Gotta do some research, and that means someone is supposed to tell me what Im supposed to do next. My Mom, God bless her, offered a place for me to stay with her. Thats so sweet, but not gonna happen. I feel slightly tooooooo independent for that to happen.

Sorry, there has been so much time between posts. My computer is now pretty much dead and has no internet capability, no matter how many times I pound on it. Promise... I will post Thailand pics soon. Got some good stuff. I will also post a link to Dougs Thai pics, highly good!